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Let Them Speak

August 9, 2009

alone in a dark room filled with silence – their voices are soothing yet raging with violence. whispering as they shout, flooding the room – now there’s no way out. their words echo off the walls of this room, crashing over and over like frightened waves pulling away from the moon. erasing my thoughts like the penciled words written on this page, then blowing them away to make room for what they have to say. “never can we leave for were your only company. while everyone else is going away – we have no where else to go, so we choose to stay. we say what you can’t. you do what we will – no one else can hear us, but you know that we are real. we comfort you, we anger  you, we make you crazy, we know how to calm you. we motivate you, we will tear you apart. we fix you, just to break you, we hate you, we love you. we’re proud of you, but you disappoint us. you disgust you, you entertain us. you ignore us, you deny us. you blame us. you thank us. we’re there at your worst, we’ve seen you at your best. we can see you do better, we know you can fall further. we will drive you insane, but we will never leave you that way.” everything they say is true. i know them, i’ve heard them, i’ve seen them. i’ve been them. it’s crazy, but true – i hear voices, i do. “i fight you, i let you. i blame you, i thank you. because of you i want to run. because of you i want to destroy everything. i want to scream and tear at my own flesh. because of you i want to take the world into my own hands and shake it until it breaks. i want to gouge my eyes out so that i never have to see this way again, because of you i can see no beauty today. because of you i want to tear out my own heart and feed it to the people who are fierce and uncontrolled, to the cruel and vicious, to the aggressively hostile. so that the savages of this world will hunger no more. because of you, i’m filled with a rage i can physically control – but mentally, i can not. because of you, i get angry… but because you let me.  because of you i am still alone and for that i blame you… because of you, i am still alive – so i thank you.”

i let them speak – because they are me.


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