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dear diary, its been awhile

May 9, 2010
by

all i could do was forget…
forget to forget to forget and forge a
new mindset, this new photograph
detailed images of memories creeping in between
raped sheets of friendship
i forgot what happened but all of this sadness
clings to my spine like a needle on the surgical table
but i miss..

forget it.

i forgot how to focus
and when inspiration manifested its way
in between the cracks
i skipped over it
[to avoid the broken back]
yet
my favorite song
our song we’d drive to when all other destination felt
inadequate
made its way through my speakers
one more time,
i pressed repeat
and repeat again
and repeat another time
as if i accepted the self mutilation
because for those “about 3 minutes”
i forgot all the bullshit and
just remembered our once upon a time moment

i miss you.
does this make me pathetic?

i don’t care anymore
and maybe i never should have

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